Marijuana: Vote "NO" on legalization for recreational use and keep it out of the hands of addicts and people struggling to stay sober.
Don't watch an addict destroy his or her life:
Do something about addiction!
December 31, 2009 / January 1, 2010
A Message from Alexandra
it's midnight, my 11th Sober Birthday! First and foremost I want to thank God and each and every one of my friends and loved ones who, near or far, love and support me every day in the journey of my recovery. If it were not for their unending patience and understanding, my life in sobriety would have not been possible. 11 years marks 4,015 days of not picking up a drink and more than 4,800 days of not abusing alcohol (hard liquor), prescription drugs such as Ambien, Xanax, Codine, Dexedrine, Valium, Vicodin, Mandrax, Soma, Percodan, Percocet, and abusing banned substances like Ecstasy, Cocaine, Marijuana and Methamphetamine. This list of drugs were substances I used (many of which were given to me) during 1985 and 1998 and looking at this list, I myself can't believe I am still alive at times. But I am here and my dreams are once again alive and within my reach. I am healthy, happy, educated, loved and a contributing member to my community. I am grateful for what I have been able to achieve since I decided to take charge of my life and get sober. Starting with Marijuana and ending with Methamphetamine, addiction reduced me to a level I never thought possible and I did not think for a very long time that there would be a way back to a better life for me.
Addiction was like being in the middle of the ocean in the water by myself. Finding the will to get sober was like trying to grab a loose rope of a boat passing by. I swam harder and harder trying to grab that rope. Even when I was able to grab the rope, the boat just kept going and I had to grab on to that rope and try to pull myself close to that boat so I could ask for help. Sometimes I did not have the strength to hold on to the rope and I would have to let go and wait for the next boat. I felt like Tom Hanks character in the film "Cast Away." Eventually I was able to get in that boat and nothing and no one was ever going to put me back in that ocean ever again.
I had no medical help to aid me with withdrawals or my dental pain. I had to feel every bit of my pain, both physical and emotional. I planted myself in book stores and libraries and read every self-help book I could get my hands on. Reading was very helpful as were audio books about self-help and time management practices as was writing.
Four years after I was able to quit Meth and after one year of solid recovery (solid means drugs and alcohol) I decided to check myself in to a sober living so I could learn how it worked when there was professional help. I spent four months in the sober living house where I gained some valuable tools but faced homelessness afterward. I was not going to go back to a lifestyle of easy money and the plush high-society party lifestyle I was accustomed to as an addict where everything seemed to come so easy. Instead I became a dog washer to keep a roof over my head and kept working on my recovery. From dog washer I went to becoming a horse trainer and a field rep for a saddlery whereafter eventually I landed an opportunity to work for an L.A. City Councilman archiving his papers and also became a paralegal at a law firm. I entered the tax system to do my part and started paying taxes, got a real estate license and worked out of the most prestigious real estate firm in Beverly Hills. I worked on several political campaigns, in entertainment in both managerial and legal staff position, started my own consulting firm and went back to school to earn a degree in Communications.
If you’re an addict, I’m talking to YOU!
I want to reach out to every addict out there, especally people who are experimenting with prescription drugs. Just because a drug can be legally obtained does not mean it is okay to abuse it. Just because a doctor is willing to write a prescription a patient may not need, does not make it okay to obtain the prescription anyway so it can be abused. No matter who you are and no matter how far gone you think you are: It’s time to turn this thing around. Yes, recovery takes years. But we can do it. We can find the will to change by asking ourselves to choose life.
It only takes a moment to pick up a drug or a drink. It only takes a moment not to choose to pick up that drug or that drink. Each time you choose not to, you choose life. So don’t cheat yourself out of the life you deserve. Let go!
Welcome
"Five Years From Now" (FYFN) is here to offer perspective and help-hardcore addicts, casual addicts and families make more informed decisions. The message is simple. We have to start looking at better ways to help our friends and loved ones overcome addiction. The methods we are using are not working because addiction is not about logic, but about the human will. No matter how many programs we invent, how many institutions addicts are forced into, if an addict is not connected to another human who understands the brokenness of the human will as a result of addiction, he or she will not recover in the long run. Interventions are ineffective because they are not designed to take care of the addict’s feelings; they are designed to get the problems of the addiction under control. This still does not answer the question of how do we really take care of the addict? It’s a matter of faith and a matter of trust in ourselves. If we want to get better, we will.
Baffled, the world has watched as some of the most loved entertainers have lost his and her life for years because no one knew what to do about the brutal stronghold of hardcore addiction. Trying to micromanage a super star celebrity into recovery is like trying to fit an elephant into a Volkswagen beetle. When it comes to recovery, one size does not always fit all.
From Michael Jackson to DJ AM, Brittany Murphy, to Anna Nicole Smith and her son Daniel, Heath Ledger, Kurt Cobain, Phyllis Hyman, , Layne Staley, Janis Joplin, Brain Jones and many more, the stories are heartbreaking and we must no longer stand by and watch as known addicts keep losing his and her life at the hands of drugs and alcohol.
It is never too late to give up hope. If we are going to win the fight, we have to start talking about the issues of addiction and the underlying cause from the addicts point of view (without buying into the addiction). We must make it part of our social dialouge to fight addiction head-on. Most importantly we have to learn to listen to the secret dialouge of addiction (see Tracy Prinze). We must learn to wipe out the negative aspects of what causes this dialogue so we can get to the root of the problem which begs the question: What is life really like in sobriety?
In the Mind of an Addict:
The world of addiction is a world disconnected from all we know. Only addicts understand the meaning of being connected to that world as we live in increments of our high rather than in days, weeks or years like other people do. We hold on to the high and run away from everything else, seeking only that one moment of a feeling we get from the effects of the drug we use. We seek companionship of addicts who think as we do, what walk of life they are from may not always matter. We are not oblivious to the rest of the world. We are aware that we upset those around us, however our addiction takes away our ability to respond to those we offend or hurt. Dr. Stephen R. Covey once said in his world renowned book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" - "It's not the snake that bites you, it's chasing that snake that drives the poison to your heart." That is what we do when we are addicted.
In life we learn to be abundant whereas in addiction we just abandon.
One of the greatest and wisest philosophers of all time saw life this way:
"We live in deeds, not years: In thoughts not breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives is he who thinks most, feels the noblest, and acts the best." - Aristotle
How this would look if it were written by an addict.
"We live for the moment and don't think nor care about time. We feel deep passion, sexuality and think we are intellectuals. The only thing that really matters is our next hit and the good times that come with it. Consequences mean nothing to us (well, sort of) and making people angry with our addiction only shows us that we have power over those people. We don't know how to manage our time nor do we want to, nor can we because we are too sick to do anything right. We live high on the hog pointing out the faults of others so they don't see that we are broken inside. Our greatest fear is not the pain of addiction, but the pain of sobriety and life and of being "manipulated" into a world we refuse to understand."
We CAN choose Life!
Getting sober means to get real. It means to stop making excuses and having a real good talk with ourselves and with God (though God is not always required with respect to atheists). It means to start looking at the clear blue sky and start thinking of our dreams again. It means recognizing the people who love us and letting them in to our life when we are strong enough. It means learning the meaning of the words "I love you." Getting sober is without a doubt the greatest battle we will ever fight with ourselves. But it is a battle worth fighting and it is a battle worth winning.
"As long as I am sober and I have a chance to be here, I will be here as a voice to help guide you. I hope that I can inspire your recovery and help make a difference in your life."
- Alexandra